lj secret santa

anmorata posted this over on her journal so i figured i'd follow suit


Step One

* Make a post to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple ("I'd love an icon of 'X' that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.
* Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ, or link to this post so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two

* Surf around your friends list to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:
* If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.
* You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call.
* There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

As always, declaration of this list does not imply obligation. But if you feel so inclined... :)

( da list )

If you post this, post a link in the comments section so it makes it a bit easier to track, and for others to peek around and attempt to fulfill your wishes. :)

Have fun!

(no subject)

i find it disturbing that in fable II my female character can get married to another woman, yet in my real life place of residence my same sex friends can't.

days of our lives

not only is december 11th the day of my surgery, not only is it joeys birthday...

it is now officially the day of his visitation pre-trial, 3 hours away from where we live. he won't be able to be there before OR after my surgery, might not even make it home in time for visiting hours.

ask me how happy i am. go ahead. ask.

sometimes i think i'm better off in life by myself, that way other people's stuff doesn't hurt me. i had a boyfriend once tell me that they wanted to break up because they wanted to be alone. even though that eventually translated into "i want to stick my penis into as many chicks as humanly possible before i die" i can now clearly understand the original preface, even if it was a lie. its not that i don't love joey, i do. it's like with wyl - i just want to be alone. i don't have the energy, the stamina nor the health to give another person what they deserve in a relationship. i don't even have it in me to live my own life, and it takes everything i have to share what little of it there is. often times i stay in bed and sleep for literally days on end, coming out only when joey's not home because i know i can't offer up what he needs in a relationship. i've told him many times that i wouldn't be offended if he wanted to leave since i'm so crippled and lifeless, and each time he says that he loves me and that he's staying with me no matter what.

sometimes i wonder if that's really the healthy thing to do.

i can see in his eyes that he wishes i was as active and happy as i was mere months ago. i know he wants me to go ride BMX or skateboard, but truth be told, i haven't the energy or the physical ability anymore. we can only have sex 2 - 3 times a week (as opposed to our usual almost every night) anymore, sometimes less, which i know affects him though he swears it doesn't. i just feel like a let down. i feel like he deserves so much better than what i can give him. hence wanting to just be alone so that the only person who has to suffer my misery is myself.

maybe things will change after i'm healed up. maybe i'll be as happy to be alive as i was when my back finally healed, but i'm not holding my breath.