(no subject)

[sprinklethief]

well since i lost my insurance i can no loner afford my meds that gave me a clear head and this stable life. what's better? no one will help. i'm enrolled in a low income community program but can't get in for another month.

i've weaned off the med that was helping me the most, that kept my swinging moods from hitting me.

now i'm almost done weaning off the other med, that kept me from being suicidal all the time.

i already gave up my stomach med about a month ago. i've been popping over the counter stuff that works, just not as well.

and i went to planned parenthood to get my birthcontrol pills to keep the ovarian cysts away, but they had to switch my brand because the gov't doesn't supply the type i was on, it's too expensive.

and medicaid? you gotta call off everything you're doing in order to make it to the office while they're open aparently. their business hours are worse than a banks.

i *was* feeling pretty good most of today, but then i got knocked down on my way out the door. it's not so easy to get back up i'm finding, normally i'm used to shitty things being said to me but i'm still aching from having a cold shoulder dug into my gut. i should be used to being... well... whatever it is i am when i become inconvienient.

we all serve a purpose, i suppose. no one wants you around just because, there's always something else.

i was feeling so good.

i hope i can pull out of this somehow. i know it's chemical, i know it's not me resisting normalcy, but that doesn't seem to help when you can't bring yourself back from falling. i know it's something beyond my control, or is it?

i fucking hate the american health care system, i hate that people who need help cannot get it and those who do get help are being medicated for "restless leg syndrome" and other such fuckery. CUT OUT THE CAFFINE, I ASSURE YOU YOUR LEG WILL STOP. but the severely mentally ill, the dying, the little old lady who eats catfood because it's cheaper that real food in bulk... what the fuck is the matter with this twisted world? i suppose dropping bombs on other countries takes higher priority than making sure that the citizens aren't needlessly dying in our own back yards.

oh, and it only takes about $1700 to purchase my meds without insurance. monthly.

and today *was* going so well...

Comments

[matafleur.livejournal.com]

that amount for your meds is absolutely staggering....

I know you can get through this, you've been through a lot and you've gained a lot of strength from that. And I poop on whoever was mean to you, just point me in the right direction

Would you like the contact info for my doctor? I understand it's not really your thing, but it can't hurt, it's affordable, and it's been working for me. I went from feeling like I was dying and losing my mind with nearly constant self-harming obsessive thoughts to being able to funcion and having no headaches and not wanting to rip peoples heads off just for talking to me...


PS. You're always welcome in my new place. I will make you dinner and my cats will stare at you. It's fun.

[paroxysm-cycle.livejournal.com]

i can't afford ANY doctor, that's the problem :(

where's the new place gonna be?

[couchemal.livejournal.com]

God I am so sorry. You might check with the manufacturers of each drug, sometimes they have indigent programs where they'll give it to you free.

[paroxysm-cycle.livejournal.com]

one does, but you have to get all of this paperwork and shit filled out by your doctor and my doctor won't do it without making an apointment to see how i'm doing. his apointments are $275. i just lost any ounce of respect i had for him, he was a really good pdoc. how am i doing now dr? OH JUST GREAT THANKS TO YOU AND YOUR BITCH ASS SECRETARY. I'LL CALL YOU WHEN THE SHAKES ARE OVER JUST IN TIME FOR THE NEXT WAVE OF NAUSIA SO I CAN HELP DECORATE THAT BRAND NEW OAK DESK YOU WERE SO PROUD OF WHEN LAST WE SPOKE. YOU FUCK.

topamax, however, doesn't offer a free drug thing, they only offer together Rx which would only knock about 10-15% off the price. i still can't afford almost $900 worth of topamax a month. here i was bitching because it was near $100 WITH insurance.

[couchemal.livejournal.com]

Fuck fuck fuck! I wish I could help you, I know how shitty you are going to feel. Maybe you could go to the community health care system? Those places are shitholes and you have to be patient with them, but if you are polite and explain the situation, mine has a policy that if they think you will kill yourself or do yourself serious harm, they HAVE to treat you even if you have no money to pay for anything. If that doesn't work, you could go back there in a few days raving.

Where do you live? I bet they have a better system than Texas, it's the bottom of the barrel here.

Another sneaky thing you could do is do something extreme that will land you in the country medical hospital, (won't that be fun!) I bet they'll have to medicate you and maybe they can set up something there. I'm not sure what you should do to get thrown in there. Has it ever happened before? You might try a repeat performance unless it involved serious harm to your person. Maybe you could enlist the help of a friend, they could say they stopped by and you were doing something nuts, like trying to drown yourself in the bathtub and yelling about needing to drown ants to get them off you. Don't laugh, I've had this encounter with a friend.

Are you working? I'd file for disability IMMEDIATELY in order to get medicaid.

Please keep us posted.

[couchemal.livejournal.com]

http://www.cutpricechemist.com/Products2.asp?Brand=TOPAMATE+%28Topiramate%2C+Topamax%29&T=d

Hooray for Mexico. No scrip necessary!

[limbik.livejournal.com]

isn't there anywhere you could get rated? i was on a rating program at metrohealth and got meds and visits really cheap.

[nemesisn72.livejournal.com]

I was just going to suggest that...there's got to be somewhere...:(

[paroxysm-cycle.livejournal.com]

i think that's what i did at the community place that can't get me in for another month or so

[paroxysm-cycle.livejournal.com]

i think that's what i did at the place that is going to take forever to get in. they said i qualify for free help, they're just all booked up because three of their shrinks are on maternity leave, one of which is MALE.

the only hospital around here i wouldn't trust to diagnose a headache. everyone i know has a horror story from there, wyl's mom and myself have several.

am i thinking the right thing about being rated? the only info i got from a doctor's office wanted my three months paystubs from around the time of my first astronomical bill and i didn't have a job then, and if i couldn't provide that then i needed my W2's from last year, which is bullshit because i only make a third of that now, but i'll have to get judged off of a full time job as a loan officer instead of a broke college student working for barely enough to cover life.

[indy-skies.livejournal.com]

arg - that makes me sooo angry! you were doing so well! i hope once you get into the community program you can get back on your meds... i know that doesn't help right now, but maybe it will only be for a month. shit - i don't pay anything for my meds... i should mail you some from canada, if we take the same ones. no seriously... no return address - i bet it would work.

[paroxysm-cycle.livejournal.com]

my significant other and i have been talking a lot about moving to canada, lol. i don't think it'll ever happen cuz he'd go totally insane without his mom near him (like the last time we lived more than 20 minutes from her), that and i like my apartment where i'm at for right now, and i like to pretend i'm killing his one psycho roomate in my sleep when i stay over there, hehehe.

seriously though, they have a generic version of topamax in canada that would only cost me like $200 as opposed to the near $900 here for name brand. from what i found though you guys don't have the xl version of wellbutrin.

your flag is much cooler too. heh.

[daliah.livejournal.com]

if you can remember to take your meds at the same time every day, i think regular wellbutrin should be fine....when i asked my dr about xl, she just said it was marketing, because when your drug goes generic, you gotta do something in order to keep people using the brand name...thats what she told me, but it could totally be a line of bullshit, but i thought id mention it.its not a different drug at all, it just dissolves/absorbes/releases/whatthefuckever slower.

[indy-skies.livejournal.com]

damn... i'm not on topamax so i can't smuggle you some. no canadian would EVER pay $200 for a drug. we all have prescription plans or our provincial plans cover most of the costs. my particular province gives psych meds away free if you will end up hospitalized without them... in their eyes it saves money that way because a stay in the hospital is free too. well, i mean our taxes cover it.

no we don't have wellbutrin xl - i asked my doc about it. i take the SR version twice a day.

[couchemal.livejournal.com]

This is a bit extreme but you could drive to Mexico, or try one of those insane Mexican pharmacies online. It won't be like you're ordering something on a schedule so maybe it'll be cheap.

[paroxysm-cycle.livejournal.com]

i live in ohio sweetheart, mexico is quite a ways away, lol

[waffles2poles.livejournal.com]

Damnit girl...you can't catch a break!

I'm going to be in the same boat soon...if I don't catch a shoplifter in 2 weeks I'm fired. YEEEAHH. Loss of benifits.

I know it's hard but try to keep your head up.

*HUG*

[paroxysm-cycle.livejournal.com]

i'll come shoplift, you catch me, i'll pretend i'm manic and that's why i did it then i'll be hospitalized and get meds and you'll keep your job!

[noroad.livejournal.com]

I FUCKING HATE THE AMERICAN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM!! I'm so pissed off to hear about your misfortune!!!! Not only do you have to weed out the ivy league educated morons who go only because his/her parents went to med school (and also they like to be a part of secret societies and such bullshit)... you can't get your goddamn health care unless you're extremely lucky. I didn't have any in forever. Now I have some and I'm still disgruntled. Why? because it's so difficult for anybody to get any. You should see the troubles my sister goes through! It's a disgrace! She had a nasty ear and bronchial infection and it was as though she were in a 3rd world country last week. She lives in Miami Beach!

Go away, somewhere... like South America. Screw the system here. DAMN i'm pissed.

[paroxysm-cycle.livejournal.com]

yeah, it's sick the way it works, it's tireing. i feel like i'm chasing my own tail trying to get help from anyone.

[woodfaery.livejournal.com]

Lets all go to Canada so we can all stay sane.

[paroxysm-cycle.livejournal.com]

ooooooh caaaaanadaaaaa!

[transmission00.livejournal.com]

contact the drug companies. sometimes you can get free/cheaper shit out of them.

i'd be scared shitless right now (not to mention i'm teetering on the edge with meds...)

feel free to call me whenever. i sent you my new number, yes? i can give you my work number as well.

you can get through this. you have overcome so much other shit. this should just be a speedbump.

[paroxysm-cycle.livejournal.com]

the drugs i'm on one company will help but i have to get my doc to fill out all this crap and he won't do it without an apointment that i can't afford. the other company offers like a 10-15% chop, which makes the drugs still far to expensive.

[paroxysm-cycle.livejournal.com]

and no you didn't send me your new number :P