(no subject)

[sprinklethief]

well since i lost my insurance i can no loner afford my meds that gave me a clear head and this stable life. what's better? no one will help. i'm enrolled in a low income community program but can't get in for another month.

i've weaned off the med that was helping me the most, that kept my swinging moods from hitting me.

now i'm almost done weaning off the other med, that kept me from being suicidal all the time.

i already gave up my stomach med about a month ago. i've been popping over the counter stuff that works, just not as well.

and i went to planned parenthood to get my birthcontrol pills to keep the ovarian cysts away, but they had to switch my brand because the gov't doesn't supply the type i was on, it's too expensive.

and medicaid? you gotta call off everything you're doing in order to make it to the office while they're open aparently. their business hours are worse than a banks.

i *was* feeling pretty good most of today, but then i got knocked down on my way out the door. it's not so easy to get back up i'm finding, normally i'm used to shitty things being said to me but i'm still aching from having a cold shoulder dug into my gut. i should be used to being... well... whatever it is i am when i become inconvienient.

we all serve a purpose, i suppose. no one wants you around just because, there's always something else.

i was feeling so good.

i hope i can pull out of this somehow. i know it's chemical, i know it's not me resisting normalcy, but that doesn't seem to help when you can't bring yourself back from falling. i know it's something beyond my control, or is it?

i fucking hate the american health care system, i hate that people who need help cannot get it and those who do get help are being medicated for "restless leg syndrome" and other such fuckery. CUT OUT THE CAFFINE, I ASSURE YOU YOUR LEG WILL STOP. but the severely mentally ill, the dying, the little old lady who eats catfood because it's cheaper that real food in bulk... what the fuck is the matter with this twisted world? i suppose dropping bombs on other countries takes higher priority than making sure that the citizens aren't needlessly dying in our own back yards.

oh, and it only takes about $1700 to purchase my meds without insurance. monthly.

and today *was* going so well...

Comments

[couchemal.livejournal.com]

Fuck fuck fuck! I wish I could help you, I know how shitty you are going to feel. Maybe you could go to the community health care system? Those places are shitholes and you have to be patient with them, but if you are polite and explain the situation, mine has a policy that if they think you will kill yourself or do yourself serious harm, they HAVE to treat you even if you have no money to pay for anything. If that doesn't work, you could go back there in a few days raving.

Where do you live? I bet they have a better system than Texas, it's the bottom of the barrel here.

Another sneaky thing you could do is do something extreme that will land you in the country medical hospital, (won't that be fun!) I bet they'll have to medicate you and maybe they can set up something there. I'm not sure what you should do to get thrown in there. Has it ever happened before? You might try a repeat performance unless it involved serious harm to your person. Maybe you could enlist the help of a friend, they could say they stopped by and you were doing something nuts, like trying to drown yourself in the bathtub and yelling about needing to drown ants to get them off you. Don't laugh, I've had this encounter with a friend.

Are you working? I'd file for disability IMMEDIATELY in order to get medicaid.

Please keep us posted.

[paroxysm-cycle.livejournal.com]

i really don't want to end up in a hospital again, even if it's to get meds though the thought did cross my mind.

i *am* working but i'm waaaay below poverty so i might be elegable for medicaid. dunno for sure...

just all this waiting for that stupid community thing is driving me insane (hahahaha, no pun intended)