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well since i lost my insurance i can no loner afford my meds that gave me a clear head and this stable life. what's better? no one will help. i'm enrolled in a low income community program but can't get in for another month.
i've weaned off the med that was helping me the most, that kept my swinging moods from hitting me.
now i'm almost done weaning off the other med, that kept me from being suicidal all the time.
i already gave up my stomach med about a month ago. i've been popping over the counter stuff that works, just not as well.
and i went to planned parenthood to get my birthcontrol pills to keep the ovarian cysts away, but they had to switch my brand because the gov't doesn't supply the type i was on, it's too expensive.
and medicaid? you gotta call off everything you're doing in order to make it to the office while they're open aparently. their business hours are worse than a banks.
i *was* feeling pretty good most of today, but then i got knocked down on my way out the door. it's not so easy to get back up i'm finding, normally i'm used to shitty things being said to me but i'm still aching from having a cold shoulder dug into my gut. i should be used to being... well... whatever it is i am when i become inconvienient.
we all serve a purpose, i suppose. no one wants you around just because, there's always something else.
i was feeling so good.
i hope i can pull out of this somehow. i know it's chemical, i know it's not me resisting normalcy, but that doesn't seem to help when you can't bring yourself back from falling. i know it's something beyond my control, or is it?
i fucking hate the american health care system, i hate that people who need help cannot get it and those who do get help are being medicated for "restless leg syndrome" and other such fuckery. CUT OUT THE CAFFINE, I ASSURE YOU YOUR LEG WILL STOP. but the severely mentally ill, the dying, the little old lady who eats catfood because it's cheaper that real food in bulk... what the fuck is the matter with this twisted world? i suppose dropping bombs on other countries takes higher priority than making sure that the citizens aren't needlessly dying in our own back yards.
oh, and it only takes about $1700 to purchase my meds without insurance. monthly.
and today *was* going so well...
i've weaned off the med that was helping me the most, that kept my swinging moods from hitting me.
now i'm almost done weaning off the other med, that kept me from being suicidal all the time.
i already gave up my stomach med about a month ago. i've been popping over the counter stuff that works, just not as well.
and i went to planned parenthood to get my birthcontrol pills to keep the ovarian cysts away, but they had to switch my brand because the gov't doesn't supply the type i was on, it's too expensive.
and medicaid? you gotta call off everything you're doing in order to make it to the office while they're open aparently. their business hours are worse than a banks.
i *was* feeling pretty good most of today, but then i got knocked down on my way out the door. it's not so easy to get back up i'm finding, normally i'm used to shitty things being said to me but i'm still aching from having a cold shoulder dug into my gut. i should be used to being... well... whatever it is i am when i become inconvienient.
we all serve a purpose, i suppose. no one wants you around just because, there's always something else.
i was feeling so good.
i hope i can pull out of this somehow. i know it's chemical, i know it's not me resisting normalcy, but that doesn't seem to help when you can't bring yourself back from falling. i know it's something beyond my control, or is it?
i fucking hate the american health care system, i hate that people who need help cannot get it and those who do get help are being medicated for "restless leg syndrome" and other such fuckery. CUT OUT THE CAFFINE, I ASSURE YOU YOUR LEG WILL STOP. but the severely mentally ill, the dying, the little old lady who eats catfood because it's cheaper that real food in bulk... what the fuck is the matter with this twisted world? i suppose dropping bombs on other countries takes higher priority than making sure that the citizens aren't needlessly dying in our own back yards.
oh, and it only takes about $1700 to purchase my meds without insurance. monthly.
and today *was* going so well...
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