you push forward because there is no other direction to go. To stagnate is the worst kind of emotional/physical death there is. Oh, it's possible to continue on, but you'll always miss or long for lost opportunties.
i know, because i do. That's not to say I feel stuck, but i know that if i had the motivation and drive six,...eight.. years ago, i would be infinitely wiser. I'm happy with my life, for the most part, but still there's always a little nagging feeling that i should have been better.
A good friend that i worked for in Anti-Terrorism Battalion, Lt. Staszko said that what ever doesn't kill you, put's it off till later, but you can never put a price on a goal.
blah. diarrhea of the mouth. sorry. i just think it's better to actually post substance than "****HUG**** YOU"LL BE FINE YOUR SO AWESOMEZZZ"
i'm just tired of every time i fix something wrong with me something else goes.
and with this whole neck thing, it's just like my back all over again. no one is taking me too seriously because i don't scream and cry and overreact, i just calmly tell them what's bothering me and i get shafted. they throw pain killers at me and tell me to find a neurosurgeon... um, THAT'S WHY I'M TALKING TO YOU! i'm not exactly hip to the neurosurgeons around here, i was hoping for a referral, not a nerve conduction test/eeg order. WE KNOW THERE'S A PROBLEM, WE KNOW WHAT IT IS, WHY WON'T ANYONE HELP ME FIX IT?!?
it all just makes me want to take my pain killers like a good girl and forget everything, forget being proactive, take in disability and rot. "you know you can get on disability right?" I CAN STILL WALK, I'LL BE DAMNED IF I'M TAKING MONEY FROM SOMEONE WHO MIGHT ACTUALLY NEED IT!!! hell, i don't even use my handicap placard, why would i get on disability?!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
From:
no subject
i know, because i do. That's not to say I feel stuck, but i know that if i had the motivation and drive six,...eight.. years ago, i would be infinitely wiser. I'm happy with my life, for the most part, but still there's always a little nagging feeling that i should have been better.
A good friend that i worked for in Anti-Terrorism Battalion, Lt. Staszko said that what ever doesn't kill you, put's it off till later, but you can never put a price on a goal.
blah. diarrhea of the mouth. sorry. i just think it's better to actually post substance than "****HUG**** YOU"LL BE FINE YOUR SO AWESOMEZZZ"
From:
no subject
i'm just tired of every time i fix something wrong with me something else goes.
and with this whole neck thing, it's just like my back all over again. no one is taking me too seriously because i don't scream and cry and overreact, i just calmly tell them what's bothering me and i get shafted. they throw pain killers at me and tell me to find a neurosurgeon... um, THAT'S WHY I'M TALKING TO YOU! i'm not exactly hip to the neurosurgeons around here, i was hoping for a referral, not a nerve conduction test/eeg order. WE KNOW THERE'S A PROBLEM, WE KNOW WHAT IT IS, WHY WON'T ANYONE HELP ME FIX IT?!?
it all just makes me want to take my pain killers like a good girl and forget everything, forget being proactive, take in disability and rot. "you know you can get on disability right?" I CAN STILL WALK, I'LL BE DAMNED IF I'M TAKING MONEY FROM SOMEONE WHO MIGHT ACTUALLY NEED IT!!! hell, i don't even use my handicap placard, why would i get on disability?!
it's just so... maddening.
From:
no subject
Hang in there chickie.