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yappa has to be put down very soon. like as soon as i can afford it. i'm already starting to make final arrangement type plans and it's fucking killing me. she's been in my life for 16 years. most of my life i never really had friends so it was just me and my cat. i was always the weird girl or the new girl or just too mean/unpredictable to keep friends for long. i'm no good with relationship maintenance either so people often become bored or fed up with waiting for me to act normal (which is why wyl's such a gem because he knows that's never going to happen, lol).
she was diagnosed a few months ago with bladder cancer and was given three months to a year to live. recently she's begun losing weight and losing control of her bladder. now it's almost a constant thing to be cleaning up after her it's gotten so bad. i'm selfish and would do it forever if it were up to me, but it's not. i have to think about her quality of life at this point, which is probably the hardest thing i've ever done. normal people don't understand why i'm having such a hard time with this, so i guess i'll try to explain.
yappa is a rescued kitty. someone threw her in a dumpster tied in a burlap sac (who the hell even uses those any more? shows how old she is...). me being all of 9 years old dove right in, knee-deep in mc donald's food and found the source of the yowling that the rest of the crowd just stood around and "oh my'd" at. i then found myself the proud owner of a black and white kitten with a giant wobbly head.
16 years later there's been so many years of curling up in front of TVs and sharing my dinner, crying over boyfriends, leaving home, countless moves in and out of state, two attempts at college, many many mice and chipmunks to leave on porches and in beds, adventures in woods, stepfathers who spoil kitties with steak and tuna, sibling cats and kittens, attic adventures, evil vets, sunbeams to soak up and heater vents to curl up on.
as stupid as it sounds, in my whole life yappa is the only thing that's been a constant. everything has always been so volatile and unstable, everyone has left at some point, everyone has turned their backs to some degree at one time or another. i don't even think it's possible for an animal to turn it's back on a person, but none-the-less i feel an undying sense of loyalty from her. nothing has ever been stable ground for me and everything "certain" has always collapsed on itself, but goddamn it that kitty fell down the sinkholes with me and snuggled up to my side when i'd be curled up in a ball on the ground sobbing about it. even now as i'm crying trying to type this she's pawing at me trying to distract me, like she knows. i guess after 16 years you really do know a person, even if they are an animal - or a human.
i love you yappa. i'm sorry i have to do this to you but i can't let you suffer anymore.
she was diagnosed a few months ago with bladder cancer and was given three months to a year to live. recently she's begun losing weight and losing control of her bladder. now it's almost a constant thing to be cleaning up after her it's gotten so bad. i'm selfish and would do it forever if it were up to me, but it's not. i have to think about her quality of life at this point, which is probably the hardest thing i've ever done. normal people don't understand why i'm having such a hard time with this, so i guess i'll try to explain.
yappa is a rescued kitty. someone threw her in a dumpster tied in a burlap sac (who the hell even uses those any more? shows how old she is...). me being all of 9 years old dove right in, knee-deep in mc donald's food and found the source of the yowling that the rest of the crowd just stood around and "oh my'd" at. i then found myself the proud owner of a black and white kitten with a giant wobbly head.
16 years later there's been so many years of curling up in front of TVs and sharing my dinner, crying over boyfriends, leaving home, countless moves in and out of state, two attempts at college, many many mice and chipmunks to leave on porches and in beds, adventures in woods, stepfathers who spoil kitties with steak and tuna, sibling cats and kittens, attic adventures, evil vets, sunbeams to soak up and heater vents to curl up on.
as stupid as it sounds, in my whole life yappa is the only thing that's been a constant. everything has always been so volatile and unstable, everyone has left at some point, everyone has turned their backs to some degree at one time or another. i don't even think it's possible for an animal to turn it's back on a person, but none-the-less i feel an undying sense of loyalty from her. nothing has ever been stable ground for me and everything "certain" has always collapsed on itself, but goddamn it that kitty fell down the sinkholes with me and snuggled up to my side when i'd be curled up in a ball on the ground sobbing about it. even now as i'm crying trying to type this she's pawing at me trying to distract me, like she knows. i guess after 16 years you really do know a person, even if they are an animal - or a human.
i love you yappa. i'm sorry i have to do this to you but i can't let you suffer anymore.
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