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every time i think i'm starting to get better i'm left alone.
not like left alone like "oh waaaah, no one pays attention to me!!!" but like i'm home sick right now and wyl's at work. i wonder if i'm only able to keep things together because i have to... because i really have nowhere to run anymore and no one will do it for me...
that's still a LOOOOONG way from where i was a year ago.
i never want to be in a psych ward against my will again. that's a trend in my life i need to break.
i don't feel right.
there's been a dicussion recently about the loss of social skills that has recently become apparent in myself and why. i'm beginning to wonder if they'd ever actually existed or if it was always the booze or this drug or that drug or whatever i was on to stomach people running up and hugging me or dragging on about subjects that i coudln't possibly care less about.
maybe i never liked people.
maybe i was constantly trying to convince myself that i did.
maybe i'll always be one of those people that you'll like the idea of but once you have to spend time with me you'll be dying to get the fuck away from. the whole room breathes a sigh of relief once the door hits me on the ass on the way out...
and why the fuck do you friend my journal if you don't like me? are you keeping tabs for some sick form of entertainment? fucking get a life, mine's past the interesting part, trust me.
i'm awaiting some potentially very bad news. it could be good news though because it would explain so much. but it's still bad news. it'd be like if someone sent me a pizza on fire. it's all like "hey! a pizza!" .... but it's on fire...
oh my god i'm so in hate with everything.
there, i fucking wrote something that wasn't a fucking quiz and was about my actual life.
not like left alone like "oh waaaah, no one pays attention to me!!!" but like i'm home sick right now and wyl's at work. i wonder if i'm only able to keep things together because i have to... because i really have nowhere to run anymore and no one will do it for me...
that's still a LOOOOONG way from where i was a year ago.
i never want to be in a psych ward against my will again. that's a trend in my life i need to break.
i don't feel right.
there's been a dicussion recently about the loss of social skills that has recently become apparent in myself and why. i'm beginning to wonder if they'd ever actually existed or if it was always the booze or this drug or that drug or whatever i was on to stomach people running up and hugging me or dragging on about subjects that i coudln't possibly care less about.
maybe i never liked people.
maybe i was constantly trying to convince myself that i did.
maybe i'll always be one of those people that you'll like the idea of but once you have to spend time with me you'll be dying to get the fuck away from. the whole room breathes a sigh of relief once the door hits me on the ass on the way out...
and why the fuck do you friend my journal if you don't like me? are you keeping tabs for some sick form of entertainment? fucking get a life, mine's past the interesting part, trust me.
i'm awaiting some potentially very bad news. it could be good news though because it would explain so much. but it's still bad news. it'd be like if someone sent me a pizza on fire. it's all like "hey! a pizza!" .... but it's on fire...
oh my god i'm so in hate with everything.
there, i fucking wrote something that wasn't a fucking quiz and was about my actual life.
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From:
no subject
Who's screwing the your Issa? Well... I know it ought to be you! Oh!
*is naughty*