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religion is for people afraid of going to hell while spirituality is for those of us that have been there. never has this rang so true for me than it has these past 4 days. i cannot describe to you the things i've seen and heard, the things i've felt, the things i've said, the things i cannot say, the things i think and the things that have gone on all around me while i scream silently into this new level of hell i've never even imagined could exist. never again do i think i will be able to dwell on my physical pain because i now know of something so much worse, so much more desperate, something so horrible, something so...
i dunno, i don't think i have the energy to rehash all that has transpired these past few days right now. i just needed to talk to someone, and this LJ is all i have accessible to me right now due to the enormous amount of responsibility i've taken on (willingly, don't get me wrong) preventing me from picking up the phone for a scrap of my friends. i've only been able to send off rushed text messages keeping everyone informed of the facts, the who, the what, the when and the where. joey needs me to be strong, his dad needs me to be strong. his stepmom needs me to be strong. this is my family, and they need me.
his dad isn't going to make it. it's very hard to watch a man like his dad have to endure what he has, what his family has. i need all the strength i can gather right now, and i feel like it still isn't enough. i'll update more in depth when i'm home, i just had to vent.
i dunno, i don't think i have the energy to rehash all that has transpired these past few days right now. i just needed to talk to someone, and this LJ is all i have accessible to me right now due to the enormous amount of responsibility i've taken on (willingly, don't get me wrong) preventing me from picking up the phone for a scrap of my friends. i've only been able to send off rushed text messages keeping everyone informed of the facts, the who, the what, the when and the where. joey needs me to be strong, his dad needs me to be strong. his stepmom needs me to be strong. this is my family, and they need me.
his dad isn't going to make it. it's very hard to watch a man like his dad have to endure what he has, what his family has. i need all the strength i can gather right now, and i feel like it still isn't enough. i'll update more in depth when i'm home, i just had to vent.