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i find it strange that the opinion of pain killers throughout the medical profession changes so much. my first day in the hospital i was audibly sobbing because i was in so much pain. a night nurse came in and asked what was wrong and i told her i was in pain, but i was afraid to ask for pain killers because the last time i was in the hospital they would only give them to me every so often because they didn't believe in getting the patients hooked. i told her the story of the nurse that tried to give me vicodin 12 hours out of surgery last time. she said that it makes her sick that patents that are in pain are treated like criminals, and quickly moved to make me comfortable. i was very appreciative. she looked over me the remainder of the night. then the day nurses came in.
it was time for me to have another dose of pain killers and the nurse comes in when i push the call button. i ask her if she'll give me something for the pain, and she says "you can have vicodin, and that's all" even though i was currently on morphine. i try to tell her that i'm on morphine currently and if i had to step down pain killers already i'd prefer to do it more comfortably, and she says that i'll have to talk it over with my surgeon then if i don't want vicodin, then left without giving me either. after begging one of the orderlies with tears in my eyes, in so much pain i was throwing up, they convinced the nurse to give me something until the surgeon decided to put in an appearance (5 hours later than he said he would which made arranging a ride home quite difficult).
the surgeon eventually decides to show up. he sits me up, asks how i feel, but continues talking, not giving me a chance to actually TELL him how i feel. he asked me to move my arm. i do. he says "well since the pain's gone we're just going to give you some vicodin for home" and walked out before i could say a word. if he would have stayed he would have known that i am in quite intense pain, and just because i regained use of my left arm does not mean the pain is all magically gone. i tried to tell the nurse (the one who didn't give me anything) that vicodin makes me really sick, and i preferred percocet, but that i would still need phenergren to help with the nausea. she looks at me, does the whole "are you fucking serious" sigh and turns away without a word.
a few minutes later the surgeon pops in and says "what do they normally give you for nausea" to which i reply "phenergren" and he disappears. the nurse comes in about 20 minutes later with a script for the smallest percocets available and says "you're going to have to call your primary care physician if you want phenergren, he doesn't want to write the prescription for it."
why do certain doctors and nurses want you to "suffer through" intense pain? friday i was in such severe pain that i passed out - literally passed out. of course the surgeon's office wasn't open for me to ask WTF, same thing all weekend, but seriously, wtf? i feel like a convict for trying to be comfortable, to make this heinous situation just a little less horrible. i don't know why he did this to me. i'm on such weak pain killers that i have to take 2 before they even help, but then i have to go to sleep because i'll start throwing up from the nausea. that was a post-op problem they had with me, the narcotics make me sick if i don't have anything to help with the nausea. i want to know what i did to this man to have him treat me this way. was it the brand new prada purse i bought his wife with how much i paid him to torture me?
i don't think i'm out of line for wanting to be treated like a goddamn human being. a human being that is in an immense amount of pain. maybe he's never had to endure pain before so he doesn't know how horrible it is to be forced to live like this because of someone else's beliefs? he wouldn't give me something stronger before surgery because he said it would make post-surgical pain management more difficult. well here we are, post surgery, and i'm on the same goddamn stuff. i know if i call his office i'll just be treated the same if not worse, but i really don't know what other options i have right now.
i feel so helpless. all i want is to be in less pain so i can have some semblance of a life. i've seriously been awake a grand total of 6 hours since i came home at 2pm friday because being awake hurts far too much. either that or i'll puke my guts out, one or the other. this just isn't fair. i shouldn't have to suffer because someone else thinks i'm a junkie. so much for the hippocratic oath.
it was time for me to have another dose of pain killers and the nurse comes in when i push the call button. i ask her if she'll give me something for the pain, and she says "you can have vicodin, and that's all" even though i was currently on morphine. i try to tell her that i'm on morphine currently and if i had to step down pain killers already i'd prefer to do it more comfortably, and she says that i'll have to talk it over with my surgeon then if i don't want vicodin, then left without giving me either. after begging one of the orderlies with tears in my eyes, in so much pain i was throwing up, they convinced the nurse to give me something until the surgeon decided to put in an appearance (5 hours later than he said he would which made arranging a ride home quite difficult).
the surgeon eventually decides to show up. he sits me up, asks how i feel, but continues talking, not giving me a chance to actually TELL him how i feel. he asked me to move my arm. i do. he says "well since the pain's gone we're just going to give you some vicodin for home" and walked out before i could say a word. if he would have stayed he would have known that i am in quite intense pain, and just because i regained use of my left arm does not mean the pain is all magically gone. i tried to tell the nurse (the one who didn't give me anything) that vicodin makes me really sick, and i preferred percocet, but that i would still need phenergren to help with the nausea. she looks at me, does the whole "are you fucking serious" sigh and turns away without a word.
a few minutes later the surgeon pops in and says "what do they normally give you for nausea" to which i reply "phenergren" and he disappears. the nurse comes in about 20 minutes later with a script for the smallest percocets available and says "you're going to have to call your primary care physician if you want phenergren, he doesn't want to write the prescription for it."
why do certain doctors and nurses want you to "suffer through" intense pain? friday i was in such severe pain that i passed out - literally passed out. of course the surgeon's office wasn't open for me to ask WTF, same thing all weekend, but seriously, wtf? i feel like a convict for trying to be comfortable, to make this heinous situation just a little less horrible. i don't know why he did this to me. i'm on such weak pain killers that i have to take 2 before they even help, but then i have to go to sleep because i'll start throwing up from the nausea. that was a post-op problem they had with me, the narcotics make me sick if i don't have anything to help with the nausea. i want to know what i did to this man to have him treat me this way. was it the brand new prada purse i bought his wife with how much i paid him to torture me?
i don't think i'm out of line for wanting to be treated like a goddamn human being. a human being that is in an immense amount of pain. maybe he's never had to endure pain before so he doesn't know how horrible it is to be forced to live like this because of someone else's beliefs? he wouldn't give me something stronger before surgery because he said it would make post-surgical pain management more difficult. well here we are, post surgery, and i'm on the same goddamn stuff. i know if i call his office i'll just be treated the same if not worse, but i really don't know what other options i have right now.
i feel so helpless. all i want is to be in less pain so i can have some semblance of a life. i've seriously been awake a grand total of 6 hours since i came home at 2pm friday because being awake hurts far too much. either that or i'll puke my guts out, one or the other. this just isn't fair. i shouldn't have to suffer because someone else thinks i'm a junkie. so much for the hippocratic oath.
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I would have killed someone. You should have seen me post-surgery. I bet they were afraid not to take good care of me.
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