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since it seems i have next to no readers due to nothing really important to say i'll just bitch.
so dad called a meeting today regarding the business. bob was of course an asshole and just wanted to fight dad on everything he said, meanwhile dad and i began to iron out how to bring the company to the 21st century. bob eventually lost interest and did whatever, then told us to leave because he had to get the kids to bed.
dad and i relocated to his house and worked on a lot of shit. i think i have an idea of what needs to happen in order for the business to be streamlined, it's just that dad has very little understanding of computer technology which is still so weird to me since he can build hydrogen producing batteries to try to run a car off of but can't attach anything to his email. he also didn't understand why a @yahoo.com address is sort of unprofessional. i love my dad, but it took me 3 hours to get through to him. i just had to trick him into thinking it was all his idea. i keep forgetting that just because he's my dad does not make him *not* a male. i'm trying not to get my hopes up because he's still got to divorce the she-beast, but i can still try to help.
so joey got his "stimulus" check today (even tho the last two of his soc comes AFTER mine dammit). he'd vowed when he was jobless to begin paying off what he owes to creditors and such to begin cleaning up his credit for when we get ready to buy a house (after i graduate from my doctorate program - so at LEAST 5 years) but before i left for my meeting with dad he was looking at BMX parts. now, whatever, cool, do whatever, but don't tell me you're going to do one thing then do another.
when i came home, he'd already bought an xbox360 game, a dvd remote for the 360 (even though we have two systems and a computer we watch DVDs through) a new cheap car stereo and god knows what else. then he's like "if you wanna go half and half on this bike (BMX) we should get it for you!!" to which i replied "i have miette's surgery to pay for if i even get a stimulus check, i actually have responsibilities as opposed to toys to buy" which was probably a lot bitchier than i'd liked to come off as, but goddamn if blowing $300 dollars when we have a sick cat and overdue bills didn't piss me off - especially since i blew through my savings (a little over $4,000) supporting us when i was laid up from surgery because he somehow couldn't manage to live off of $200 a week (which, up until december was more than i made).
to top things off, he bitches to anyone who will listen about how unfair baby mama is about visitation. he sees his son LITERALLY 8 hours a month, and she makes him drive to columbus. now, at first i was like "what a bitch!" and all on his side about how much of an asshole she was because, well, she was. but now... she does the same shit, time after time. for instance: she told joey she'd bring their son up for a birthday party joey's mom and grandmother were goign to throw for him (not on his birthday may 2nd mind you, but the next saturday). when he drove down to columbus to see his son this weekend, as he was leaving she's like "i have family coming out so we're not coming up." instead of contesting in any way he just bitched and left it at that. never mind the fact that she's totally ignored his visitation rights set by the court pretty much since their son was born, she said no.
and let me just tell you, it stings to see your boyfriend pussy-whipped by another woman. aside from the rage of being left behind because my mother tortured my father similarly and seeing it happen all over again to someone who had the same thing happen to them, it's just not cool. it's always a slew of excuses, like when he wasn't looking for a job: "the bush administration has made it impossible to get a job!" "i have a job..." "that's different, you're union!" "::stare::"
so i spent all of my spare time for about 3 days researching what options he has and put together a link folder, a folder of applications, petitions and other documents as well as tracked down a pamphlet that outlines what he needs to do, and also typed out a laymen's terms version of the laws in that county. did he look at it? no. he went and rode BMX. which he does pretty often. okay, i totally understand having to release some pent up aggression, but something like seeing your son strikes me as something important, more important that riding a spine.
but that's just me.
meanwhile, i sleep a great deal of hours when i finally can (insomnia is hell, so is always being sick) and wake up mostly just to work or for my marathon 32 hour waking binges (which usually involves a minimum of 2 work shifts), most of which i can't clean because he's sleeping. the house is sort of a mess, for us at least. most people would call it cluttered, i call it disgusting. we've kept the place pretty damn clean for over a year now, so it bugs me that it looks how it does. he *did* just start a job tho, so he's still adjusting. he has enough energy to play video games and watch porn tho, which should mean he could, i dunno, throw a load of laundry in or something.
it's not all bad, not by a long shot, it's just frustrating for me to find myself broke once again and busting my ass as best i can when i'm still so sick. i mean, those few months - *i* was the injured one that couldn't work, there was no reason for him to be there alongside me. he didn't even go to look for a job until i sat and laid out why it bothered me, only after i threw a minor hissy where i left to go cool off. i still didn't yell, but it got through. i don't want to have to be dramatic to get my points across, but christ man, talking just doesn't seem to work. it sucks that my emergency savings is gone when there's what could be construed as an emergency (miette *does* need surgery, it's not dire tho) and i really don't feel like it was appreciated, and it would have been nice for him to offer to help me pay for this (even though its not his cat, he's not my responsibility and i supported him when he didn't have a job and i was crippled...).
oi, i wish talking worked, i don't want to be a cuntzilla, but he really needs to step up man, i'm tired of wearing the pants in the relationship.
::sigh::
i just want it back to how it was before losing his job made him lose his confidence. i wish i knew what to do to help.
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i'm gonna suck as a psychologist if i can't even get across to my significant other :P
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the pirates of kent shall strike soon!
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guys are so stereotypically guys sometimes, its scary...we must be the same kind of scary to them....i consider everything a gender difference though. it kinda makes me feel better to know its not something personal, its just the species as a whole that is lame/stupid/insensitive whathaveyou. and when you find a little something something that your particular man does not exhibit in the gender difference sense, it makes them that much more special, cause at least they got THAT going for them...am i making any sense?
i gotta go study for this midterm...my brain is clearly fried already.
xox
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see, my guy used to do those things, but when he lost his job suddenly i had to wear the pants. any time there's a problem with anything i'm the one that has to fix it, he'll just run around doing the "OMG what do i do?" dance instead of doing something, or bitch to everyone about the problem instead of solving it. i don't like being everyone's mommy :(
you rock that midterm sweet thang, like i know you will ;)