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so i started back on cymbalta yesterday. i forgot that is makes you yawn hilariously frequently and loooooong. i'm not liking the skin crawlies and chills i also forgot about. i'm bummed out that i have to go back to meds, but i always know in the back of my mind that i'll have to be on them the rest of my life. you don't get a fun diagnosis like mine without knowing that.
the landlord has offered us a new apartment on the other side of the building, facing away from the courtyard. the upsides to this are that it faces AWAY from the courtyard - this means no more screaming children playing outside at 7am and no more rap and r&b echoing off the building into our windows. i'll be sad to not get to torture our asshole neighbors by blaring deicide out the window, but i think i'll get by. this also means we can finally have sex with the window open because those assholes won't be shouting out the window at us (tho it's okay for them to get down with their ladies with their window open...).
what i'm worried about is the mold issue. it's on the side of the building that was finished before winter hit, and that whole side looks much better than ours, but mold's not really going to discriminate i'd imagine. the ceilings aren't caving in, the drop ceiling in the stairwell isn't rotting and falling out, their laundry room doesn't leak and their carpet isn't water damaged.
so i dunno. what do y'all think? i do think i'll bring in the heath department to check the new apartment before we move, but anything's gotta be better than this.
joey started his new job today. it's nice to finally have some time to myself. he doesn't quite understand that just because i don't yell when i'm saying how i feel (like all of his ex's) doesn't mean it's okay to disregard what i'm saying. i've tried to tell him over and over again that he's suffocating me but he doesn't quite seem to catch on. i'm not gonna yell, we've never been reduced to that and i'm not about to start now, but i think i do need to sit him down and tell him that i seriously cannot have someone shoved up my ass 24/7. luckily this job will have him working 54 hours most weeks so i'll get a reprieve. he's just like a big dumb dog that doesn't realize he's not a lap dog. he's so sweet and loving but no matter how sweet and loving a st. bernard is, the fact remains that the motherfucker outweighs you by a good hundred pounds (the dog, not joey).
i've also talked to him about how most mental meds are not a quick fix, and popping one pill doesn't magically make me okay. i *was* feeling a bit better yesterday but i think he was expecting happy-slappy me right off the bat. i wish it were that simple, i wish there were no side effects, i wish there were a pill that magically resolved internal issues that need sorted out and dealt with, but once again the fact remains that there is no real quick fix, and that the meds really work more as a catalyst for internal change, and assist with the maintenance of these resolutions. he's trying, he really is. i know i've been difficult, i've apologized, i've kept him 100% in the loop of my intentions with this med-endeavor, but the poor guy's just gonna have to hold out just a while longer for me to get back to normal.
shit, i really should stop blathering and get ready for work. i just wanted to mentally barf a little.
the landlord has offered us a new apartment on the other side of the building, facing away from the courtyard. the upsides to this are that it faces AWAY from the courtyard - this means no more screaming children playing outside at 7am and no more rap and r&b echoing off the building into our windows. i'll be sad to not get to torture our asshole neighbors by blaring deicide out the window, but i think i'll get by. this also means we can finally have sex with the window open because those assholes won't be shouting out the window at us (tho it's okay for them to get down with their ladies with their window open...).
what i'm worried about is the mold issue. it's on the side of the building that was finished before winter hit, and that whole side looks much better than ours, but mold's not really going to discriminate i'd imagine. the ceilings aren't caving in, the drop ceiling in the stairwell isn't rotting and falling out, their laundry room doesn't leak and their carpet isn't water damaged.
so i dunno. what do y'all think? i do think i'll bring in the heath department to check the new apartment before we move, but anything's gotta be better than this.
joey started his new job today. it's nice to finally have some time to myself. he doesn't quite understand that just because i don't yell when i'm saying how i feel (like all of his ex's) doesn't mean it's okay to disregard what i'm saying. i've tried to tell him over and over again that he's suffocating me but he doesn't quite seem to catch on. i'm not gonna yell, we've never been reduced to that and i'm not about to start now, but i think i do need to sit him down and tell him that i seriously cannot have someone shoved up my ass 24/7. luckily this job will have him working 54 hours most weeks so i'll get a reprieve. he's just like a big dumb dog that doesn't realize he's not a lap dog. he's so sweet and loving but no matter how sweet and loving a st. bernard is, the fact remains that the motherfucker outweighs you by a good hundred pounds (the dog, not joey).
i've also talked to him about how most mental meds are not a quick fix, and popping one pill doesn't magically make me okay. i *was* feeling a bit better yesterday but i think he was expecting happy-slappy me right off the bat. i wish it were that simple, i wish there were no side effects, i wish there were a pill that magically resolved internal issues that need sorted out and dealt with, but once again the fact remains that there is no real quick fix, and that the meds really work more as a catalyst for internal change, and assist with the maintenance of these resolutions. he's trying, he really is. i know i've been difficult, i've apologized, i've kept him 100% in the loop of my intentions with this med-endeavor, but the poor guy's just gonna have to hold out just a while longer for me to get back to normal.
shit, i really should stop blathering and get ready for work. i just wanted to mentally barf a little.
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