so spine injury -> fractured vertebrae-> herniated disk -> sciatica-> disc degeneration -> disc collapse-> major surgery-> sitting on my ass cuz it hurts to walk and developing bad eating habits from being depressed.

i gained 25 lbs since the surgery. i feel like i'm huge and disgusting. joey and i cleaned up our eating habits majorly, and since then i've lost 5 of it. today was my 6 week follow up and the surgeon looks at me and says "you look a bit heavy, have you put on weight?"

my heart sank. i didn't think it was THAT noticeable. i was sitting down and wearing baggy clothes. it's 20 lbs for chrissake, its not like i have a buddha belly or anything. i'm a bit pudgy in the mid-section and hips and that's about it. so now i'm all hyper-sensitive about it.

for my health psychology class we're supposed to introduce a good health habit or change a bad one. we have to document it throughout the semester. mine is physical activity. i'm so deathly afraid of bad grades that i'll certainly keep to my schedule and get my tight little tummy back. i just hate this part where its all going so very slow.

i feel like a huge disgusting slob now and i can't get what the surgeon said out of my head. now i know what an anorexic must feel like.

on the eating front, we're not dieting. the problem with dieting in my opinion is that it's a set of strict rules and not meant for the long term. instead we've adapted better eating habits. string light cheese instead of the heavy hoffmans cheese, rice cakes instead of chips (dude, rice cakes have gotten really good since the last time i ate them), yogurt instead of ice cream.

one thing that i ALWAYS tell people about are those "zip 'n steam" bags. they are freaking amazing. i got online and downloaded some recipes for them and we're making entire meals in the microwave. it's simply amazing how good everything tastes and how little seasoning you have to put in. for instance:

i used to make glazed baby carrots on the stove-top. it would normally be about 1/4 to 1/2 cup butter, 1/2 to 2/3 cup brown sugar, a couple teaspoons of salt and some water. it tasted really good but holy calories batman! check out the recipe for them i got for the steamer bags:

1 lb baby carrots
1 tbsp brown sugar
1 tbsp butter
1/2 tsp cornstarch
1/2 tsp salt (which you can reduce to 1/4 if you use sea salt)
seal bag and shake to combine ingredients. microwave on high for 6 minutes (tho we've found 7 is the magic number). let stand 1 minute and serve.

that's it. we use smart balance omega 3 light butter which cuts down the calories and fat even more. they turn out so freaking good. we've done salmon, chicken, cod, flounder, shrimp - it all heats perfectly. the whole meal, 3 courses, takes under 20 minutes including prep time. there's not been one recipe that was bad (tho the mediterranean peppers need a little kick - i'm thinking garlic). we've been using those things for about 2 weeks now and i'm already down 5 lbs. i found them by the case for much cheaper then buying single packs at the store too.

i just want this weight OFF of me NOW!!

From: [identity profile] daliah.livejournal.com


i feel ya, except the circumstance. either way, it totally sucks. im up about 20+/- lbs as well, and i feel absolutely digusting. my dr told me to lose 15 lbs when i told him creep was concerned i was having some sleep apnea. lovely. spring time is coming, and with that will come increased vitality, and you will be more healed, and well both be back on our way. unfortunately for me, it makes me want to wear fat clothes all the time, which isnt doing much for intimacy. i did go get some skivvies that fit today though, for valentines day, so hopefully that helps! take care, youll be back to perfect soon! dont be too hard on yourself, anyone would be in the same position, but probably worse!

From: [identity profile] paroxysm-cycle.livejournal.com


i feel ya on the fat clothes. it's hard to feel sexy when you feel like a whale. i can still fit into most of my stuff, i just don't feel its a pretty sight by any means...

i've started making joey keep the lights off or at the very most a very dim candle (which actually makes me feel better cuz you can't see scars and stretch marks as well...)
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