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reluctantly i seem to always step up to the plate when things go awry. somehow it seems i'm everyone's rock or go-to-gal. i know a couple of you guys reading this totally know what i'm talking about as you are that person in your lives.
at work, everyone will sit and chat while there's something huge to be done (like putting away a truck shipment which normally takes all night) because our stand-in assistant manager screwed things up and put totes all weird and totes of merch all over the freaking store instead of all in one spot. no one would listen to me until my crippled ass started shakily pulling totes down off the stack and organizing what to do. after watching me struggle for a bit everyone else started to help.
things don't fucking get done when i'm there unless i do it. i order everyone around, tell them where to be, when to be there, what to be doing... a few of these people hold the same position as me and i find myself barking orders because everyone looks to me for the next task. wtf? they have access to all the same workload managers i do, they could go look up what they and the underlings have to do next.
in regular life, i'm the one who takes the initiative, the one who wipes everyone's butts. i solve all the problems, but once again everyone has access to the same information i do, why does it always fall on me?
i tried for a few weeks to shrug off my duties as guru of everything, but i was so fucking stressed out because in all aspects of life - work, school, home - nothing got done. i've decided to say fuck it once again and pick up the reigns as boss of everything because i'm sick of stagnating. it's my job to get our credit clean, its my job to clean the house, to cook, to work, to do the entire workload list at work (with the exception of robb), to command groups in classes - i'd like to know where the fuck i signed up for this so i can go un-sign up.
the only thing that flattered me recently was an instance where a girl had a full scale panic attack at work and hid under a desk. one of the other managers came running to me to help because i was "the only one that would know what to do." after about 10 minutes of talking her down she was okay and i felt like i actually did something i was cut out for. i guess i'm in the right field. situations like that i don't mind being the go-to and making the person feel like i'll take care of everything for a few while they get their shit together, but what about all these other instances where people just fuck off?
i'm just frustrated. so much shit has gone wrong in the past few weeks because i didn't step up, but i was hoping that if i didn't people would learn to do it themselves. boy was i wrong.
i just want to be done with school and get on with my life so i don't have to be everyone's mother. just because i'm older than most the people i work/go to school with should NOT damn me to wiping their asses.
at work, everyone will sit and chat while there's something huge to be done (like putting away a truck shipment which normally takes all night) because our stand-in assistant manager screwed things up and put totes all weird and totes of merch all over the freaking store instead of all in one spot. no one would listen to me until my crippled ass started shakily pulling totes down off the stack and organizing what to do. after watching me struggle for a bit everyone else started to help.
things don't fucking get done when i'm there unless i do it. i order everyone around, tell them where to be, when to be there, what to be doing... a few of these people hold the same position as me and i find myself barking orders because everyone looks to me for the next task. wtf? they have access to all the same workload managers i do, they could go look up what they and the underlings have to do next.
in regular life, i'm the one who takes the initiative, the one who wipes everyone's butts. i solve all the problems, but once again everyone has access to the same information i do, why does it always fall on me?
i tried for a few weeks to shrug off my duties as guru of everything, but i was so fucking stressed out because in all aspects of life - work, school, home - nothing got done. i've decided to say fuck it once again and pick up the reigns as boss of everything because i'm sick of stagnating. it's my job to get our credit clean, its my job to clean the house, to cook, to work, to do the entire workload list at work (with the exception of robb), to command groups in classes - i'd like to know where the fuck i signed up for this so i can go un-sign up.
the only thing that flattered me recently was an instance where a girl had a full scale panic attack at work and hid under a desk. one of the other managers came running to me to help because i was "the only one that would know what to do." after about 10 minutes of talking her down she was okay and i felt like i actually did something i was cut out for. i guess i'm in the right field. situations like that i don't mind being the go-to and making the person feel like i'll take care of everything for a few while they get their shit together, but what about all these other instances where people just fuck off?
i'm just frustrated. so much shit has gone wrong in the past few weeks because i didn't step up, but i was hoping that if i didn't people would learn to do it themselves. boy was i wrong.
i just want to be done with school and get on with my life so i don't have to be everyone's mother. just because i'm older than most the people i work/go to school with should NOT damn me to wiping their asses.
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