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my birthday is 8 days away and i've yet to create any sort of flyer for da partay.
so far the pre partay will be at the richland cafe, the partay will be at the chamber and the after partay (if i'm still standing) will be at my house provided it doesn't stink of dogpiss by then. or if there's not many people we could all squeeze into my room or something. or go trash hawks' hotelroom, heh.
what i want for my birthday:
my $6900 worth of hospital bills and school loan shit GONE (yeah right)
a new [scion]car (ours is a few floorboards short of the flintstones' car)
a stash of money to live off of for a few months.
but since i don't see 25gs in my near future, what i REASONABLY want:
a nice dinner
bras that fit
paint
canvas
maybe some new brushes
groceries
a life
a job
oh wait, i was being reasonable, lol...
what i want FOR SURE and had BETTER get or heads will roll:
good friends to celebrate my 24th birfday with me :)
*******
so i went to that bipolar meetup thing and it wasn't nearly as corny as i thought it was going to be. i actually learned a lot about the illness and drug treatments, which is something i needed. i listened to people who have dealt with it for 15-20 plus years and how they've overcome the roadblocks it puts up for you. i was picturing something like the NA meeting i was forced to attend back in the day: "hello, my name is kym and i'm a whackjob." but it was nothing like that at all. the only time we had to speak was to say our name so we could all get better aquainted instead of saying "hey you!" i actually think this might help a lot.
today i talked myself out of a downswing. i still got all bummed out and wanted to cry for no reason, but i kept telling myself that it was my imbalance, that no one had done anything wrong, so don't lash out at wyl and don't be a bitch. i didn't bottle it up, but i didn't let it get the best of me. i feel that was jumping a major hurtle in my battle to put into action what i've been learning.
god, i sound like a drunk at an AA meeting, but i was really excited to have been able to do that instead of cry and throw things and hate life and eventually spiral down to the suicide pit. i'm feeling okay... not great, but not bad. hopefully this wasn't just a prequal to a monsterous downhill swoop...
we shall see...
so far the pre partay will be at the richland cafe, the partay will be at the chamber and the after partay (if i'm still standing) will be at my house provided it doesn't stink of dogpiss by then. or if there's not many people we could all squeeze into my room or something. or go trash hawks' hotelroom, heh.
what i want for my birthday:
my $6900 worth of hospital bills and school loan shit GONE (yeah right)
a new [scion]car (ours is a few floorboards short of the flintstones' car)
a stash of money to live off of for a few months.
but since i don't see 25gs in my near future, what i REASONABLY want:
a nice dinner
bras that fit
paint
canvas
maybe some new brushes
groceries
a life
a job
oh wait, i was being reasonable, lol...
what i want FOR SURE and had BETTER get or heads will roll:
good friends to celebrate my 24th birfday with me :)
*******
so i went to that bipolar meetup thing and it wasn't nearly as corny as i thought it was going to be. i actually learned a lot about the illness and drug treatments, which is something i needed. i listened to people who have dealt with it for 15-20 plus years and how they've overcome the roadblocks it puts up for you. i was picturing something like the NA meeting i was forced to attend back in the day: "hello, my name is kym and i'm a whackjob." but it was nothing like that at all. the only time we had to speak was to say our name so we could all get better aquainted instead of saying "hey you!" i actually think this might help a lot.
today i talked myself out of a downswing. i still got all bummed out and wanted to cry for no reason, but i kept telling myself that it was my imbalance, that no one had done anything wrong, so don't lash out at wyl and don't be a bitch. i didn't bottle it up, but i didn't let it get the best of me. i feel that was jumping a major hurtle in my battle to put into action what i've been learning.
god, i sound like a drunk at an AA meeting, but i was really excited to have been able to do that instead of cry and throw things and hate life and eventually spiral down to the suicide pit. i'm feeling okay... not great, but not bad. hopefully this wasn't just a prequal to a monsterous downhill swoop...
we shall see...
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From:
HOLY CRAP!!!
there's nothing wrong with feeling like an AA member, as long as it's actually HELPING you thru this. there's not gonna be an end to it tho. so hopefully yer still as strong 30 to 40 years down the road as you are now. I think you (we) can do it...
Love muh honey!