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i quit my job.
the panic attacks weren't worth it anymore. i figured out why my flesh has been peeling off of my fingers - when i'm having a panic/anxiety attack i flick my nails on my middle fingers against the pads of my other fingers and grind my teeth. hence the incessant headaches.
little by little i'm just trying to lower the stress level of my life since most people don't seem to understand that certain types of stress are a MAJOR catalyst in my swings. like money. money sends me swinging like mad. i'm almost obsessed with it. not havin git, but being asked for it/sent to collections/whathave you. personally i could care less if i'm broke, but constantly being nagged by letter, by phone, in person stresses me out beyond all belief. "did you get paid yet? does wyl have any money? do you have any money?" JESUS! just thinking about it is making me shake. you'll have money when i have it to give goddamn it.
being treated like a child is also something that sets me off. at work they talked to me like i was 6. "oh keep working, you'll get the promotion!" and my dumbass 8 months later kept going until the last straw, giving my job to someone else. blatently disrespecting me and all i've done for the company, and that store. let's see this asshat try to match my numbers. i mean, he's just a clean cut bay village white boy in the ghetto. those people aren't going to trust him. hell, i wouldn't if i went into a store and that's who i was dealing with. they're going to eat him alive once he realizes that it's not westlake. poor sap.
but now a new stress arises. finding another job to be mistreated at. i'm not sitting idily by while i calm down from the past 8 months of chasing the carrot like the ass i am. i've already got resumes and applications ready to go first thing monday morning, let's just hope i'm impressive enough to catch people's eye. anything's gotta be better than that place. even factory work for christ's sake.
what it all boils down to is that my mental health is more important than a fucking abusive job. i can't keep putting myself in harms way. i have to learn to be a LITTLE selfish. just a little, enough to where i don't end up how i was a few months ago. i need to concentrate on making sure I'M okay, fuck some lame-ass business.
now to shower wyl-hed in kisses and go work on more resumes for places. hooray!
the panic attacks weren't worth it anymore. i figured out why my flesh has been peeling off of my fingers - when i'm having a panic/anxiety attack i flick my nails on my middle fingers against the pads of my other fingers and grind my teeth. hence the incessant headaches.
little by little i'm just trying to lower the stress level of my life since most people don't seem to understand that certain types of stress are a MAJOR catalyst in my swings. like money. money sends me swinging like mad. i'm almost obsessed with it. not havin git, but being asked for it/sent to collections/whathave you. personally i could care less if i'm broke, but constantly being nagged by letter, by phone, in person stresses me out beyond all belief. "did you get paid yet? does wyl have any money? do you have any money?" JESUS! just thinking about it is making me shake. you'll have money when i have it to give goddamn it.
being treated like a child is also something that sets me off. at work they talked to me like i was 6. "oh keep working, you'll get the promotion!" and my dumbass 8 months later kept going until the last straw, giving my job to someone else. blatently disrespecting me and all i've done for the company, and that store. let's see this asshat try to match my numbers. i mean, he's just a clean cut bay village white boy in the ghetto. those people aren't going to trust him. hell, i wouldn't if i went into a store and that's who i was dealing with. they're going to eat him alive once he realizes that it's not westlake. poor sap.
but now a new stress arises. finding another job to be mistreated at. i'm not sitting idily by while i calm down from the past 8 months of chasing the carrot like the ass i am. i've already got resumes and applications ready to go first thing monday morning, let's just hope i'm impressive enough to catch people's eye. anything's gotta be better than that place. even factory work for christ's sake.
what it all boils down to is that my mental health is more important than a fucking abusive job. i can't keep putting myself in harms way. i have to learn to be a LITTLE selfish. just a little, enough to where i don't end up how i was a few months ago. i need to concentrate on making sure I'M okay, fuck some lame-ass business.
now to shower wyl-hed in kisses and go work on more resumes for places. hooray!
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From:
no subject
i'm very proud of you for that...
if work stresses you out that much it simply is not worth it...
you have to do what is best for yourself and you do have to be a little bit selfish...
the most important person is you my dearest, and i;m glad you are finally starting to realize that...
you know i love you and you know i'm here if you ever need to call on me...
From:
no subject
I've been watching you improve yourself a LOT over the course of just a few weeks, and I'm very proud of you sweety. That place was toxic, and you were bringing some of that home with you on your shoulders.
sure, we'll miss out on the plentiful free video games, but it's not like we don't have enuff as it is. besides, we've got more constructive things to be doing with our time than playing video games and being pissed off at the world.
we could always make movies, run a dungeon, AND be pissed off at the world. that sounds like a much healthier plan to me.
besides, when you get pissed off, there's always some fat old desperate guys to beat up on. I support ya with this, and I know yer gonna be taking care of yourself much better than you were before.
it's totally about you, and that in turn makes it easier for US to make it about US. it's difficult to keep the team going when one of us is down in the dumps (this applies for both of us, and I too am beginning to face some demons of my own. on my own level. nothing in comparison to the leaps and bounds you've dealt with tho.)
proud? PROUD!
From:
no subject
Look for jobs and a new home there.
Worked for me, and you know how long I was looking.
<3
From:
no subject