(no subject)

so where am i?

i began at researching the physiological breakdown of anger. websites from colleges and medical journals. the real physical evidence of it all. WHAT IS IT THAT'S WRONG?

so once the neurochemicals and such are decoded and understood, where do my actions fit in? where is the justification?

there is no justification. what i did was wrong, and cold. more and more i'm feeling that i'm not going to have a chance to correct this to those who need the correction.

i've been blind for too long. i'm not the only one that needs mental amelioration, i can't have all the attention all the time. i've sucked the life out of someone. now its my duty to return it, improve it. fix what i broke before it leaves.

god, i just hate myself so much right now. you can only say you're sorry so many times before it looses it's effect.

but i'm sorry. i'm so incredibly attritional, i'm engulfed by this. i cannot undo this, the apology isn't accepted. what do i do now?

what the fuck do i do now?

(no subject)

Adam 2002x (4:46:38 AM): haha, I cut a man who didn't give me a loan.
Adam 2002x (4:46:43 AM): in the face.
sLlmSpOOkY (4:46:52 AM): lol
sLlmSpOOkY (4:46:56 AM): you bastard

(no subject)

darvocet = WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

i'm going to see a neurosurgeon tomorrow to discuss pain management options and to get a referal to an anesthesiologist, also we are going to begin deciding on surgery. i don't want to just yet, but if i have to... anything to make this pain go away

i don't like not being able to comfortably "ride the pony" for da honey. heheheheh, tmi.

bow chicka bwowmp bwowwww!