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i'm an alien in my own skin. i feel like it's crawling up my face, the seams are riding up and itching...
i don't feel satisfactory to others. i'm in a great deal of pain physically. i thought once i did something about that the bitterness would end. but no. i don't know what i've done now.
my focus keeps shifting. i can't concentrate too long without my back reminding me i cannot move. debris piles up around me and there's little i can do about it.
if i were to drink, it would be right now.
but today is my 1 month sobriety anniversary.
i yearn for emotional sedation. i abhor when i get to this point of falling... not the bottom, but most definatly not the top.
and i feel ugly. inside and out.
hunter s thompson is really dead. holy fuck dude, i know that pain all too well. i hope there's no mental illness on the other side, for all of our sake. thank you for leading me to the obscure and ridiculous. without it i'd be nothing. thank you for creating the dark side, and encouraging us all over to it, you political junkie, you.
i don't feel satisfactory to others. i'm in a great deal of pain physically. i thought once i did something about that the bitterness would end. but no. i don't know what i've done now.
my focus keeps shifting. i can't concentrate too long without my back reminding me i cannot move. debris piles up around me and there's little i can do about it.
if i were to drink, it would be right now.
but today is my 1 month sobriety anniversary.
i yearn for emotional sedation. i abhor when i get to this point of falling... not the bottom, but most definatly not the top.
and i feel ugly. inside and out.
hunter s thompson is really dead. holy fuck dude, i know that pain all too well. i hope there's no mental illness on the other side, for all of our sake. thank you for leading me to the obscure and ridiculous. without it i'd be nothing. thank you for creating the dark side, and encouraging us all over to it, you political junkie, you.
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From:
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From:
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i was just slipping deeper into my depression when i decided to make sugar cookie dough and than eat most of it raw...
rather than taking the time to actually bake the cookies...
i thought it might make me feel better, but instead i just feel stuffed...
see you...
From:
no subject
You're not ugly, inside or out. I like you, and I try to avoid ugliness if at all possible. You're nifty, and you have a great sense of humor.
Have you talked to your doctor about the physical pain? That seems a little unusual.
I hope you can hang in there.
From:
no subject