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wyl and i used to joke around that if my biological parents ever faced each other it would signify the end of the world. if only he could have been a fly on the wall today, i know he would have fallen down laughing.
see, my parents divorce was not a pretty one. in fact, it was messy, grueling and ugly. i was 3 or 4 but i still remember my dad sitting in the living room of his ransacked home holding his head and crying. there has been only one other time since then i've seen him cry, and that was at my grandfather's funeral. after all was said and done, they haven't spoken since. it's been well over 20 years.
so today was the party for my nephew's birthday (which is tomorrow). my brother sent out text message invites as always, i replied as always. usually he chooses to invite one parent or the other to the event, and that's just how its been for every family get-together we throw. i assumed this year was dad since he'd talked about going.
this was until i got a text from my mom asking if i was going.
i texted my brother asking if he'd invited both of them, and he said yes, they need to act like adults for chrissakes, and i can't say i disagree. but how he went about it was sort of... i dunno, all or nothing?
so i was sitting on some steps on the patio talking to my mom and stepdad after having juggled the two of them all day when the familiar ::stompstomp...shufflestomp:: sound of my father walking with his cane/moses staff came behind me. i just kept talking figuring if i didn't make a big deal out of it no one would. it was amazing though. i've NEVER seen my mother at a loss for words, so i reveled in her stuttering and clamoring. it was really bizarre seeing the two of them in such close proximity, i still haven't processed it i don't think.
my father - who is the type of guy who will walk right into the center of a tense situation and fart, walks (well, we call it walking, its more of a... abnormal gait?) right up to my mother and says "i saw you guys over here and thought i'd come say hi!" my mom just kind of mumbles "hi." so i strike up a conversation about something that would distract everyone and my neck started bugging me. i started sort of rubbing it and dad's just like "i don't know where she gets all her spine problems from" and mom shocked me and said "well my side's all solid irish folk, as you know" but not in a dickish tone, though you could see her dagger gleaming under her cloak. then SHE introduced JUDD (my stepdad) to my dad, and they shook hands. it was amazing. judd was really cool about it, i was impressed. mom still seemed very put off and didn't quite know what to say, and when you give my dad a silence he'll fill it for hours, lol.
after about a half hour of playing mediator and my asshole brother flitting through to just sit for a second and letting me handle the mess he created, mom and judd bowed out gracefully. my dad expressed it was good to see her and nice to meet judd, a real class act as always (i mean that in the most non-sarcastic 1950's way possible, lol), and judd said the same, mom just muttered "bye"
this is a monumental thing in my adulthood that SHOULD have happened in my childhood, and as uncomfortable as it was, i'm glad it happened. i don't think the levity of it has fully sunken in yet, i'm just glad things like weddings and graduation won't be an issue now.
and that's my story.
see, my parents divorce was not a pretty one. in fact, it was messy, grueling and ugly. i was 3 or 4 but i still remember my dad sitting in the living room of his ransacked home holding his head and crying. there has been only one other time since then i've seen him cry, and that was at my grandfather's funeral. after all was said and done, they haven't spoken since. it's been well over 20 years.
so today was the party for my nephew's birthday (which is tomorrow). my brother sent out text message invites as always, i replied as always. usually he chooses to invite one parent or the other to the event, and that's just how its been for every family get-together we throw. i assumed this year was dad since he'd talked about going.
this was until i got a text from my mom asking if i was going.
i texted my brother asking if he'd invited both of them, and he said yes, they need to act like adults for chrissakes, and i can't say i disagree. but how he went about it was sort of... i dunno, all or nothing?
so i was sitting on some steps on the patio talking to my mom and stepdad after having juggled the two of them all day when the familiar ::stompstomp...shufflestomp:: sound of my father walking with his cane/moses staff came behind me. i just kept talking figuring if i didn't make a big deal out of it no one would. it was amazing though. i've NEVER seen my mother at a loss for words, so i reveled in her stuttering and clamoring. it was really bizarre seeing the two of them in such close proximity, i still haven't processed it i don't think.
my father - who is the type of guy who will walk right into the center of a tense situation and fart, walks (well, we call it walking, its more of a... abnormal gait?) right up to my mother and says "i saw you guys over here and thought i'd come say hi!" my mom just kind of mumbles "hi." so i strike up a conversation about something that would distract everyone and my neck started bugging me. i started sort of rubbing it and dad's just like "i don't know where she gets all her spine problems from" and mom shocked me and said "well my side's all solid irish folk, as you know" but not in a dickish tone, though you could see her dagger gleaming under her cloak. then SHE introduced JUDD (my stepdad) to my dad, and they shook hands. it was amazing. judd was really cool about it, i was impressed. mom still seemed very put off and didn't quite know what to say, and when you give my dad a silence he'll fill it for hours, lol.
after about a half hour of playing mediator and my asshole brother flitting through to just sit for a second and letting me handle the mess he created, mom and judd bowed out gracefully. my dad expressed it was good to see her and nice to meet judd, a real class act as always (i mean that in the most non-sarcastic 1950's way possible, lol), and judd said the same, mom just muttered "bye"
this is a monumental thing in my adulthood that SHOULD have happened in my childhood, and as uncomfortable as it was, i'm glad it happened. i don't think the levity of it has fully sunken in yet, i'm just glad things like weddings and graduation won't be an issue now.
and that's my story.
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