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i feel uneasy. i dunno what i mean, really, but i just don't feel... right?
lately i just want to be alone, all the time. i don't really want to interact with much of anyone save for the extreme inner circle, and even some members of that are excluded. i'm just tired of feeling responsible for everyone, for everything that goes on, i'm tired of taking control of everything because no one else will and everyone else knows if i'm there i will, so no one steps up. just once i'd like for a catastrophe to happen that i don't have to commandeer and fix. i'm surrounded by the "OMG!" people (you know them, something horrible happens and they put their hands to their faces and run around saying "OH MY GOD WHAT DO WE DO?!?!" instead of DOING anything) and it seems i'm the only person left with a level head and rational thinking enough to take care of everything.
so here i am, flat broke, exhausted, sick, and there's no one to fix it for me. i've charged up everyone else with my own gumption until i had nothing left, and that's just what i have left - nothing. who's going to to come fix my problems? who's going to come and make ME all better? who's going to take the helm of my pain? my frustration? my anger?
no one.
sad thing is, i don't even have the energy left to charge up myself.
lately i just want to be alone, all the time. i don't really want to interact with much of anyone save for the extreme inner circle, and even some members of that are excluded. i'm just tired of feeling responsible for everyone, for everything that goes on, i'm tired of taking control of everything because no one else will and everyone else knows if i'm there i will, so no one steps up. just once i'd like for a catastrophe to happen that i don't have to commandeer and fix. i'm surrounded by the "OMG!" people (you know them, something horrible happens and they put their hands to their faces and run around saying "OH MY GOD WHAT DO WE DO?!?!" instead of DOING anything) and it seems i'm the only person left with a level head and rational thinking enough to take care of everything.
so here i am, flat broke, exhausted, sick, and there's no one to fix it for me. i've charged up everyone else with my own gumption until i had nothing left, and that's just what i have left - nothing. who's going to to come fix my problems? who's going to come and make ME all better? who's going to take the helm of my pain? my frustration? my anger?
no one.
sad thing is, i don't even have the energy left to charge up myself.
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