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so i talked to my doc today and she said the MRI reports came back this morning. not good, just as i imagined, but much worse than i thought. apparently my herniation has grown to 4 mm, which is termed as "severe" or so i'm told. something about a deformity, something about severe spinal cord displacement and a whole bunch of other "severe" stuff i don't remember right now cuz i'm tits deep into some percocet. she thinks the surgeon is going to recommend surgery ASAP, which kinda sucks cuz that means i have to go on sick leave just in time to be broke for xmas. sick pay is fucking horrible, but at least i'm in the computer as full time at work now so it'll be more than $60 a week.
i really don't want surgery, but anything to make this pain stop is fine by me. doc was like "no wonder you're in so much pain. i honestly don't understand how you can still use your left arm at all" and of course, forever the smart ass, i told her "very carefully." in reality, use of my left arm has been very difficult. i've had to figure out a new way to type, joey has to button anything i own that has buttons (i wear dickey pants with the little metal clasp so i can pee on my own), i double knot my shoes so i don't have to try to re-tie them and lifting anything above my head is pretty much out of the question.
i meet with the surgeon monday. i'm also going to make a second appointment with a surgeon that does disk replacement to find out if i'm a candidate. maybe i'm finally close to the end of this part of the nightmare. maybe now someone will listen since i have actual medically documented evidence that i should be screaming in pain. too bad i'm not a wuss and only cry about it when no one is around, lol.
the shit never ends, does it?
oh, and my boss didn't key in my raise. i'm going to raise holy hell at work tomorrow and threaten to walk out unless he keys it in right then and there. he knows i'm more than eligible for state disability now, so i really can leave with very little repercussions AND still have my surgery.
i just want this to be over with. i want an active life again. and i had BETTER be functional by the time it's snowboarding season or heads will roll.
i really don't want surgery, but anything to make this pain stop is fine by me. doc was like "no wonder you're in so much pain. i honestly don't understand how you can still use your left arm at all" and of course, forever the smart ass, i told her "very carefully." in reality, use of my left arm has been very difficult. i've had to figure out a new way to type, joey has to button anything i own that has buttons (i wear dickey pants with the little metal clasp so i can pee on my own), i double knot my shoes so i don't have to try to re-tie them and lifting anything above my head is pretty much out of the question.
i meet with the surgeon monday. i'm also going to make a second appointment with a surgeon that does disk replacement to find out if i'm a candidate. maybe i'm finally close to the end of this part of the nightmare. maybe now someone will listen since i have actual medically documented evidence that i should be screaming in pain. too bad i'm not a wuss and only cry about it when no one is around, lol.
the shit never ends, does it?
oh, and my boss didn't key in my raise. i'm going to raise holy hell at work tomorrow and threaten to walk out unless he keys it in right then and there. he knows i'm more than eligible for state disability now, so i really can leave with very little repercussions AND still have my surgery.
i just want this to be over with. i want an active life again. and i had BETTER be functional by the time it's snowboarding season or heads will roll.