(no subject)

i'm so tired of my whole life relying on other people. no matter how driven and non-procrastinating i am someone else is as lazy as i am determined.

THERE IS NO REASON THAT THESE TWO DEALS SHOULD HAVE REMAINED OPEN SINCE APRIL

i'm so in hate with the world today. i want to explode. i want to hurt people. i want to make someone cry. i want to make someone suffer as much as the world has made me suffer. my burdens have become to heavy for me today. i just want to destroy. i'm tired of being me. my afflictions have gotten the best of me. my poor physical and mental health is too much for me and everyone else. no wonder i'm such a goddamn failure.

(no subject)

i love that it is imparative that i keep myself under control and only show happy.

yet i get other people's anger relentlessly with full force and i'm expected to still keep happy.

i'm a well trained crazy person. "crazy is majority rules"

i cannot be human, i have to be the television happy person. me unhappy makes everyone sad. i have to make sure no one else is sad, because that's what crazy people are expected to do. we're not allowed to talk about being crazy, and we're expected to have the most immaculate self control ever imagined so other people can emotionally beat the shit out of us.

but we're used to it. that's what's going on inside our heads constantly anyhow, might as well manifest in really real land.

at least we have the good pills.

even though there's no record of us being on this show...