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so today started with me deciding to cancel my therapist appointment. the lady isn't even a therapist and i think i'm going to stop seeing her altogether. she was a soc major in school, never did grad school and is a social worker. our sessions consist of me bitching and her agreeing with everything i say. not really therapy so much as a bitch session - i know there's no way i can be right 100% of the time. i want advice on how to feel better - like ways to condition myself, just venting every once in a while doesn't quite hack it. i need freakin' guidance here folks.
so i go back to bed for a little bit. i wake up and go to get the laundry that was held captive in the laundry room last night and it's still wet. yay. pop in some quarters and hope for the best.
meanwhile i try to register for the online part of a class and the book we use isn't up there. the instructor told us to contact tech support. tech support said to check with the instructor. yay.
getting dressed i put on my underwear and they rip. i am deathly afraid of getting fat again so pretty much anything can make me feel like i've gained 100lbs and didn't notice. so that sets a nice mood, feeling like a giant cowbeast. never mind my gas-bloated tummy :(. i hate my guts.
to school, i go to class. all is well on that front - it's retard chemistry, not much can go wrong. poor teacher gets frustrated because half the class doesn't understand what he's saying - not because of a language barrier like last time but because it's a room full of idiots that talk through the lecture then say "i don't understand!!" significant figures - not that hard people.
i leave class to try to make it to the schizo lab meeting on time. i'm of course 5 minutes late because my class is on the complete other side of campus from the psych building. there were only three people in last semester's lab - there's freakin' 7 this time (including the original 3). and they are... somethin' else. any time i talked they looked nervous because i was trying to loosen everyone up and joke around. i eventually gave up my search for a sense of humor and realized that it was just me, the professor and the grad student laughing. so we have to give possible subjects for research papers - each person has to give two. all the new girls are like "i like, want to like, you know like, learn if schizophrenia is genetic or runs in families!" to which i simply reply "it does" and i get glared at. what? don't ask if you don't want to know!
so after withstanding a "like" and "yanno?" storm it's my turn and i say "i think we should focus more on the negative symptoms than the positive because i feel it takes a greater toll on the human mind (schizophrenia is divided into positive and negative symptoms. google it to find out more, i don't feel like explaining)." and these girls... three of them seniors - in psych none-the-less - all look at me and say "what's a negative symptom? aren't they all negative?" ::headdesk:: so i felt like i had a chicken on my head that whole time except when i got what i come to the meetings for - i got to argue points with the "world renown" dr. that oversees the lab. i LOVE picking her brain. so everyone else was uncomfortable and i shut up just as i was getting going. i get out early because they have to teach the newbies how to transcribe stuff.
i go out to the bus stop, mind you - at this point it had been snowing for a good two hours, and i stand there finding that i'd missed the last bus by ten minutes, so i get to stand for another half hour listening to asshole construction guys catcall all the college girls. so the bus comes, i get all excited and walk to the curb and it just zooms right by. even flailing my hands wildly in the air, dude didn't even look. the construction guys start laughing at me and say shit like "he saw that ring in your lip and got scared!" and "aww, no love for mortishia" oh ho ho guys, oh to be so witty. i wish to someday be a construction worker working out in the snow with dirt imbedded so deep into my nailbed that my nails are outlined for life. oh how i long for lunchpail coffee breaks and catcalling girls half my age. it sucks so bad that i have to settle for being a doctor instead. ya fuckholes.
so i got to walk 2 miles home in the snow. at one point i was by the main road and a semi drives buy just close enough to splash the hell out of me with 15 minutes left in my walk.
and i still have to go to work. blargh.
so i go back to bed for a little bit. i wake up and go to get the laundry that was held captive in the laundry room last night and it's still wet. yay. pop in some quarters and hope for the best.
meanwhile i try to register for the online part of a class and the book we use isn't up there. the instructor told us to contact tech support. tech support said to check with the instructor. yay.
getting dressed i put on my underwear and they rip. i am deathly afraid of getting fat again so pretty much anything can make me feel like i've gained 100lbs and didn't notice. so that sets a nice mood, feeling like a giant cowbeast. never mind my gas-bloated tummy :(. i hate my guts.
to school, i go to class. all is well on that front - it's retard chemistry, not much can go wrong. poor teacher gets frustrated because half the class doesn't understand what he's saying - not because of a language barrier like last time but because it's a room full of idiots that talk through the lecture then say "i don't understand!!" significant figures - not that hard people.
i leave class to try to make it to the schizo lab meeting on time. i'm of course 5 minutes late because my class is on the complete other side of campus from the psych building. there were only three people in last semester's lab - there's freakin' 7 this time (including the original 3). and they are... somethin' else. any time i talked they looked nervous because i was trying to loosen everyone up and joke around. i eventually gave up my search for a sense of humor and realized that it was just me, the professor and the grad student laughing. so we have to give possible subjects for research papers - each person has to give two. all the new girls are like "i like, want to like, you know like, learn if schizophrenia is genetic or runs in families!" to which i simply reply "it does" and i get glared at. what? don't ask if you don't want to know!
so after withstanding a "like" and "yanno?" storm it's my turn and i say "i think we should focus more on the negative symptoms than the positive because i feel it takes a greater toll on the human mind (schizophrenia is divided into positive and negative symptoms. google it to find out more, i don't feel like explaining)." and these girls... three of them seniors - in psych none-the-less - all look at me and say "what's a negative symptom? aren't they all negative?" ::headdesk:: so i felt like i had a chicken on my head that whole time except when i got what i come to the meetings for - i got to argue points with the "world renown" dr. that oversees the lab. i LOVE picking her brain. so everyone else was uncomfortable and i shut up just as i was getting going. i get out early because they have to teach the newbies how to transcribe stuff.
i go out to the bus stop, mind you - at this point it had been snowing for a good two hours, and i stand there finding that i'd missed the last bus by ten minutes, so i get to stand for another half hour listening to asshole construction guys catcall all the college girls. so the bus comes, i get all excited and walk to the curb and it just zooms right by. even flailing my hands wildly in the air, dude didn't even look. the construction guys start laughing at me and say shit like "he saw that ring in your lip and got scared!" and "aww, no love for mortishia" oh ho ho guys, oh to be so witty. i wish to someday be a construction worker working out in the snow with dirt imbedded so deep into my nailbed that my nails are outlined for life. oh how i long for lunchpail coffee breaks and catcalling girls half my age. it sucks so bad that i have to settle for being a doctor instead. ya fuckholes.
so i got to walk 2 miles home in the snow. at one point i was by the main road and a semi drives buy just close enough to splash the hell out of me with 15 minutes left in my walk.
and i still have to go to work. blargh.