![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
i'm being forced to go to band practice even though i just started a brand new medication today. i don't think it's a good idea to be around someone who picks at emotional scabs when i'm in such a vulnerable state. i took today and tomorrow off work for a REASON! because i need the rest, i need to not be around external problems.
this illness is not the goddamn cold, i can't just take a pill and magicaly be whisked back to super okay land. these things take time, and i'm neuralogically not stable right now as i've just introduced a brand new chemical to my brain. i just want to stay home and see what this ride is going to be like.
fuck this, i'm tired of this issue being minimalized. it's a serious issue that is taking up the majority of my waking hours in coping and seeing random therapists and shrinks. this is a serious illness, it's not an "oh, i'm unhappy today" it's "if i get too unhappy i'll try to kill myself to end the fuckshit that's in my brain"
and fuck weed.
this illness is not the goddamn cold, i can't just take a pill and magicaly be whisked back to super okay land. these things take time, and i'm neuralogically not stable right now as i've just introduced a brand new chemical to my brain. i just want to stay home and see what this ride is going to be like.
fuck this, i'm tired of this issue being minimalized. it's a serious issue that is taking up the majority of my waking hours in coping and seeing random therapists and shrinks. this is a serious illness, it's not an "oh, i'm unhappy today" it's "if i get too unhappy i'll try to kill myself to end the fuckshit that's in my brain"
and fuck weed.