new years, shmoo years....

actually had a decent time DJing last night. evan and chris are fun partners in crime. we played a half hour of the most overplayed goth songs of 2004 at midnight featuring such hits as "peter murphy - i'll fall with your knife" and "wolfsheim - once in a lifetime" as well as many of the hits you know so well... and of course the dance floor was packed to that crap, lol.

pre-show i killed a bottle of wine with shane whilst getting ready, which is always fun. mingled i guess. got a pack of nat sherman mint cigarettes from someone. drank. a lot.

this past year wasn't so bad i guess now that i look back at it. probably one of the better years. got engaged, claimed bankruptcy (believe it or not it's really nice to not have a huge debt hanging over your head), reunited with an old friend... who i'm gonna marry now... let go of past demons that have been plaguing me for years now... joined a band, busted some heads, partied with the hawks... learned a lot about myself... had my heart broken, then put back together much betterly... is that a word?!?

bad stuff... struggled with a misdiagnosis of a mental illness to the point of suicide, trying to cope with the real illness now tho, trying to understand that it's nothing i did, it's a disease... got a job with no chance of moving up, every time i mention it i can see that asshole boss of mine lauging in the back of his mind, got into fights with coworkers, strugled with self worth issues, tried to push wyl away for no reason and almost succeeded, suddenly bill collectors from the past decided to rear their ugly heads out of nowhere and slap me with thousands of dollars of bills from literally YEARS ago, only they all went to collections... those assholes stress you out, calling 5 times a day, mailing me every single day...

i dunno, there's always a silver lining tho...

goals for 2005...

marry my monsterheadmanthing
get out of that job into something more fitting
go back to school at virginia marti
get a new apartment that ISN'T someone's attic
fully comprehend this illness so i can work to deal with it
kiss my kitties
party with hawks
try not to stress out as easily
MOVE FORWARD...
lose weight.


in 6 months i'm going to come back to this entry and see how i'm doing...

t minus 20 days

oh yeah, and the kym's gettin' old supermega party is only 20 days away (read: my crazy ass birthday party that ended with me throwing up in a sink last year and trying to make out with lisa). plans are in the works to make this year's party awesome, especially since it's on a friday. i was thinking of keeping with the tradition of the richland, but it's like old country people there now it seems... i dunno... chamber's drinks are too expensive tho the music is better than the hillbilly boogie... any suggestions?